kill myself

I miss her everyday. Every night, I cry, I can’t sleep. Tears in my eyes and asking “what did I do” “I still love her” “I wish it never happened”. The realism of knowing she’s never coming back. Her life is better now without you, she lives everyday not thinking of you or how you are. I believe it never really phased her. She wanted it and so, she made it be.

I dreamed and hope that one day I would marry her, not consider killing myself.

I love you, and I always will. 

Suicide

Ever wonder why you’re alive? the reasoning behind your existence. I lost something, to the point, the girl I love. I don’t know what I did, why it happened. But now, I just want to end it. I’m not happy, I’m depressed and i’m sad. I think of reasons to keep going everyday, and each day I think of less and less.

One day i’ll do it, one day.

Feeling Down

I am tired of the constant feeling of emptiness. Waking up everyday and remembering how shit things are. I wish for change, it’s all I want. Tomorrow is another day, but I will find myself walking the same path, doing the same thing. I loved someone, I believed my life was going where I wanted it too. But now I find this contempt for where I am, the feeling of sadness and anger. I am not happy with my life, I often think about, who would care if i died? Truth is,  I don’t want to know the answer. I am one of 7 billion other people. Theirs nothing special about me, why should anyone care. I just want to be happy, and thats exactly how I don’t feel.